Laughing Coyote aims to be of service to the community by occasionally posting useful existential tips. This post’s “advice about living,” comes to us from Dr. Crabby Ass, Chair of the Psychology Department at the University of WTF.
This week’s public service announcement has to do with parties, and may, or may not, apply more to women, than men. There is a total attempt here at gender bias.
How a Party Is Different Than Therapy
Party: drink while you are there
Therapy: drinking during the session is usually discouraged.
(In fact the drinking may occur at some point before the session and may be why you are there)
Party: talking to people lightly as if nothing matters, especially not the shit that really matters
Therapy: saying all the horrible crap in your life that you can, as thoroughly as you can, so you don’t have to do it while you are at the party
Party: you do not pay anyone there to listen to you
Therapy: if you don’t pay the person, they won’t listen to you
Party: if you are paying the person you are with at the party it’s called prostitution, but don’t think most of us haven’t thought of it
Party: bitterness, anger and too many details are not attractive.
Therapy: Where’s the drama?
Party: stories about unmitigated unhappiness should be kept to five minutes or less
Therapy: anything less than five minutes is denial.
Party: if there are more than two people in the room with you it’s probably a party
Party: If you are lying down on the couch, people will think you are too drunk to stand up.
Therapy: If you are laying down on the couch at this point in history, you are paying too much money!
If you have more tips on how a party is different than therapy, feel free to post them herei! Dr. Crabby Ass appreciates the help while the Laughing Coyote is off chasing her tail, hoping that this time, it will work out.