Why Aren’t NFL Cheerleaders Kneeling During the Anthem? Who says they aren’t?

“Why Aren’t NFL Cheerleaders Protesting During the National Anthem?” reads the headline on an NBC News site.

I laugh because that’s the stupidest question I’ve ever seen. It cancels itself out before it finishes being asked.

Because they are part of the problem!

No society that isn’t fundamentally sexist would even have cheerleaders. They are part of the system.

If it weren’t sexist: there would be whole squads of male cheerleaders. But  where’s the men’s team that cheers me on during childbirth? How about a bunch of men doing hip-grinding, pelvis-oriented dances to get women through their periods? And I sure as fuck could use some male cheerleaders to get me through menopause.  Where is my high- kicking, ass-waggling, pom pom-bearing man squad?

I’ve never meet a feminist cheerleader in my life.

Oh look at those big strong men. Look at me, sexy, barely clothed woman, waggling my boobs and butt and eating lettuce all day so the men can look at me and be glad they have a penis. Football wouldn’t be complete without slapping an objectified woman on top of it to make it sexy on top of simply being brutally competitive.

There are no NFL cheerleaders protesting for their rights because they know they don’t have any. They exist to please and excite the men for money and that’s it. It’s an athletic form of prostitution; a stadium size strip-club.

That is not to say they aren’t intelligent and talented, but they are willing to prostitute themselves to a stupid, narrow-minded, racist, sexist patriarchal system. Being a cheerleader is the same thing as white women voting for Trump.

Now you want to ask the question again? It’s like asking why Trump voters aren’t taking a knee.  My other answer to that is they aren’t taking a knee because they’re too busy bending over.

Cheerleaders are the Condaleeza Rice of feminism: the Kellyanne Conway of women’s rights.  There is no knee, except to kneel before patriarchy and take its hallowed member into one’s mouth.

Any questions?

Yes, I was a cheerleader, so shut up. And when I saw what was really going on, I quit and joined the basketball team. The women’s basketball team. If cheerleaders want society to change, they all need to quit their jobs and do something useful, something that empowers women instead of  entrenching sexism and its incestuous cousin, racism, even further.

Otherwise let’s all just learn to enjoy our Pussy Grabbing Society and cheer it on!

LET’S GO PATRIARCHY!!!!!

Laughing Coyote

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Categories: feminism, patriarchy, racism, Trump Presidency, Uncategorized, women's humor | Tags: , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “Why Aren’t NFL Cheerleaders Kneeling During the Anthem? Who says they aren’t?

  1. tabbyrenelle

    Yo! George Bush Jr. wuz a friggin’ cheerleader! He would absolutely support your womb making babies. Yes mam.
    I know yer not a repub. I’m just sayin’.
    Your writing is funny… and I guess I’m spying on you like a cat (not so much as per requested like U did, but ‘cuz my gravatar betrays me).
    And the thing is: whenever you tell “other” authors/writers/bloggers why not to write “about pages…”
    or “introductions” And how you don’t like to explain what you do… or label who you are and how hard that is and however U write about misleading thru fiction and or lying…
    Welp… thing is: every post you write is exactly what you say not to do.
    This is a funny formula U wild coyote goddess. You’re far better than a shot glass… full of jimmy beam or jack or whatever booze helps U forget.
    and I do wonder about the whole psych professor thing as if it is expertise (like the blind leading the deaf… while suggesting drinks as a persona.)

    • Hey thank you! Yes, I”m full of BS for sure and GW Bush looks great in a skirt. His knees turn me on. Thanks for reading and posting! I hadn’t seen your comment yet. Spread the word, maybe others will like all this too. Thanks a ton for posting!

      • tabbyrenelle

        LOL! “his knees turn U on.” That’s funny. But does he wear a skirt or a skort? I think he looks at his best when falling off his bicycle in his little spandex-helmet ensemble. 🙂
        I’ll spread the word.
        and Thanks for your reply.

  2. tabbyrenelle

    and no response? for reals funny lady? okay bye bye…

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