How I got through Day 3, Year 1, AT (After Trump)
Oh god, I woke up with yet another Trump Hangover. Nothing that an hour in the bathroom couldn’t handle.
- Installed a vomitorium in my home. (On sale in the same stores that brought you the bidet).
- Burned yet another Trump piñata left over from Halloween in effigy.
- Decided to open a company specializing in Trump piñatas because burning things in effigy is going to become very popular and I’m going to be rich selling this shit.
- Took a quick online certification course in Voodoo.
- Went to Hobby Lobby and got several Voodoo Doll DIY Home Craft kits.
- Marveled that such a Christian company that loves God so much is okay with selling voodoo doll kits. (Then I realized the equipment was meant for pro-choice and LGBT people.)
- Spent the next three hours sticking pins in the Trump and Pence dolls, focusing on the genital regions since the brain area is obviously not relevant
- Went back to get more Voodoo dolls from Hobby Lobby when I realized I needed to do the whole cabinet and the majority leaders.
- Spent the rest of the day on the internet waiting for news of a mysterious set of illnesses plaguing the new administration requiring quarantine on the planet Mars for the next eight years and how we are going to have to borrow a rocket from the Russians to get them there.
What did you do to get through Day 3 of Trump-apocalypse?
Post here (scroll down to the end of the blog for comments), post on FB or write to me at email@example.com. I plan to post other people’s ways of coping when appropriate and will do it anonymously unless you ask me to post your name or pseudonym.
Hang in there everyone,
Only 1452 days to go.